Pot bust in Norway. (Alleged) crack-smoking in London. A husband who faces bribery and conspiracy charges. Yet still no one knows why singer Amy Winehouse was denied a visa to the U.S. to perform at the Grammy’s.

Well, that’s not so true. You don’t need teeth to figure out why Amy Winehouse can’t seem to get a break.

It’s because she’s a bad influence to our children.
All that hip-gyrating, lewd, lascivious lyrics, and clothing that leaves nothing to the imagination are like cancers to the minds of our youth here in the United States!

Message to England:
We don’t need your imported filth permeating our culture.
We are perfectly fine with real, wholesome, American artists such as Britney and Jamie-Lynn Spears, Paris Hilton, and other ladies who know how to act like a lady should.
With grace, discretion and dignity.

So, no thank you England, and no thank you, Amy Winehouse!
We’ll do just fine without you.

And a genuine Thank You to the true, red-blooded Americans at the U.S. Embassy for keeping the riff-raff out of our proud nation!

This video is for you!