Oh, Britney! You never cease to amaze us, your adoring public.
Whether it be self-inflicted haircuts, or therapeutic intervention by means of force, you’ll always give us something to talk about.

And for that, we thank you.

What’s that, you say? You and Adnan got married! In Mexico!?
Surely you’re not ser……well, O.K.
I guess I can see that.

You silly girl, you!
Always making life-altering decisions with the same amount of thought as one puts into how they want their eggs for breakfast.

Yours are scrambled, I presume.
No, no, that was a poor joke. I digress.

I believe I’ve read somewhere that if you married Mr. Ghalib, that he said he wanted to take you back with him to Pakistan. I sure hope that’s not the case!
You’ll have to re-do your whole wardrobe, I’m afraid.
They tend to stone people that dress the way you do.

Oh, no, no. Not the stoned you’re used to. No. This one involves actual stones. And no, silly. Not the Rolling Stones, but large rocks and……..I can tell this is going nowhere.

Well, good luck to ya!
I hear it’s pretty hot over in Pakistan.
Be sure to bring your ankle-length burka!