Gary Coleman is a virgin, a 40-year old virgin.
Even his recent, secret marriage to 22-year-old redhead, Shannon Price, has yet to be consummated!

Guhh!
If that’s not the saddest thing I have heard this week!

Someone give this guys a mercyf#*k, please!

First his parents blew all of his money before he was able to access it, now the only work he can find is that of a security guard, or at the very best, a walking punchline.

The last film he worked on was a straight to video release from 2007 called A Christmas Too Many where he played a pizza delivery guy.
No doubt either his size was the punchline, or it probably went like this:

“Ding-dong.” (ed. - that’s the doorbell chime)
Here’s your pizza, that’ll be $21.50
Gary Coleman?
Yeah, it’s me. That’ll be $21.50.
Wait a sec., I gotta get my friends to see this!
No sir, I really gotta go deliver…
No shit! It really is Gary Coleman! Bwahahahaha! Look how small he is!

…and blah, blah, blah!

He recently sold a pair of his pants on eBay, and Jimmy Kimmel bought them for $500.

So, at least Gary Coleman has more cash than me.
Stupid Kinoki footpad scam!