Nerds all over nerddom have a reason to feel a little better after last week’s revelation that soft-core, pop artist, Moby had dated Queen Amidala herself, Natalie Portman.

It seems that Scarlett Johansson is going up for sale. On eBay!!!
(Not that any true nerd could afford her having spent all the cash he doesn’t spend on rent on Star Wars memorabilia, statues of dragons and collectible swords)

Miss Johansson is up for auction as part of the On the Red Carpet series of celebrity auctions to benefit charity.
The winner of the auction will be Scarlett’s guest to the He’s Just Not That Into You premiere and meet her, plus win signed DVDs along and a personal note!
(Fifty bucks says that it will turn out to be a restraining order)

Her charity is Oxfam America who are, according to their website, oxfamamerica.org, “an international relief and development organization that creates lasting solutions to poverty, hunger, and injustice.”

Other celebrities up for auction with proceeds going to Oxfam are Colin Firth, Kristin Davis and the unpronounceable Djimon Hounsou.

Nerds, ask your parents to help you out!
You know how bad they want to see you with a girl, you know, to dispel their fears. I’m sure they’ll be willing to front you a few thousand!
You never know, you may have a shot with her!