Kate Beckinsale has a secret hidden within the darkest recesses of her person.

A secret so special, so great, that only a handful of the worthiest men to grace the planet have ever been so fortunate as to gaze upon it’s wondrous glory and envelop themselves within a cocoon of the purest ecstasy that man could bear without crumbling in tears, to be forever in ruin.

Deep within a phalanx of flesh lies the Pharoah’s Tomb. A work of such great beauty that, it is said upon viewing, will forever make any other woman that that man will see, to appear as if covered in boils and sores since she cannot ever compare to it, in his eyes.

I believe that it’s her vagina.

Kate Beckinsale has revealed that her greatest physical asset lies below the belt, and she even has a special name for it.

Beckinsale reveals to Allure magazine that she refers to her fun zone as “Pharaoh’s Tomb”, and that she’s even been told before that it’s spectacular.

She states, “My best feature is unfortunately a private matter, although I’m told it is spectacular. But you can’t really walk it down the red carpet. What can I say?”

The Hell you can’t walk it down the red carpet!
Just give her an up-do and some lipstick and sha-bamm! She’s ready for the glam-cam on “E” News!

I once let my donger join me to go see Basic Instinct 2.
I just put on a top hat and a cane, and he was the talk of the town.
According to Megan’s Law, I now have to go door-to-door to let my neighbors know who I am when I move in, but that’s a small price to pay for some acknowledgement to the little guy.

Kate adds, to clear up, “I was called a slut when I split up with Michael and began seeing Len, but I’ve only ever had about three boyfriends. Only a handful of people have seen into the Pharaoh’s Tomb!”