If you pant and are short of breath when exercising, you’re doing it wrong.

You should be singing! Karaoke!

Billy Blanks Jr. – yes, son of Tae Bo shill Billy Blanks – has combined the worst in exercise with the worst in music to create Cardioke. Leave it to the son of an infomercial huckster to combine two things that suck to produce something that REALLY sucks.

Karaoke is only tolerable because it usually involves large quantities of alcohol. Think about the last person you saw performing karaoke and then imagine that person in a leotard. Enough said.

Aerobics isn’t tolerable. OK, maybe it’s fun to watch when you’re home alone at 3 a.m. That’s your own business.

Aren’t singing and aerobics hard enough without combining the two? There was a time when being a good dancer was enough. It was the same time when ugly singers with two left feet could get a recording contract. Now, you just need to look good – we’ll teach you how to sing and dance and sell yourself. It’s Michael Jackson’s fault.

Blanks Jr. claims 70 percent of weight loss is “excreted through proper breathing.” Ew. That explains what’s coming out when people are doing karaoke – excrement.

So, singing is proper breathing? Since when? Didn’t Tay Zonday show us how hard it is to know when and how to breath when singing?

Cardioke is big in LA, which explains a lot. Certainly you can’t lose weight by eating less and exercising more. You need a trick. They still order hamburgers without buns there.

Blanks Jr. – surprise, surprise – sells his Cardioke DVD through an infomercial. The late-night apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Much like Dad’s DVDs, Cardioke will sell and sell a lot. Also like Dad’s DVDs, they don’t do a bit of good collecting dust behind the Girls Gone Wild stash.

Blanks Jr. is a good looking guy, so there is some value in buying the DVD just for that, if that’s your thing. If not, come up with your own exercise craze. Perhaps singing in the shower will excrete enough fat to be considered exercise, with the right name, of course. Try Nakedoke. It has a nice ring to it.

On the plus side, playing Rock Band can be considered a workout. You’re a jock and you rock! Now we need to find a way to get microwaving a burrito to be considered work.