After solving major problems like educating the young and providing health care for the old, the Florida, Virginia and Maryland legislatures are considering banning testicles – the ones hanging down from the trailer hitches of many a redneck truck.

The testicles are ornamental metal bull testicles that look like two avocados in a wet bag. In other words, they look like big bull balls.

These “bumper nuts” are available in a variety of color, sizes and shapes – no, really – from www.bullsballs.com.

Actually, there are two different “generations” of balls – first and second generation. Second generation balls swing more and are more secure – take that, Dad!

Some come with a lock so no one can steal your balls. You can also buy key chains balls, if you are so inclined.

Florida, which faces a revenue shortage, will fine drivers $60 if the bill passes in the Florida house. It has already passed in the senate.

In Virginia, a similar bill died in committee. It would have fined drivers $250 for displaying their balls.

The Maryland bill, which also included outlawing displays of naked human breast and buttocks, would result in a fine of up to $500.

Apparently, legislators are bent out of shape over this “issue.” Irate parents know how to make state legislators’ phones ring, so they may be reflecting actual constituents’’ concerns.

What can a parent tell a child about what is dangling from the back of that pickum’ up truck? Perhaps the scrotums are some sort of detector for low-ground clearance or something?

Tell them the same thing you told them when they asked why Bill Clinton was impeached. In other words, lie.

With gas at $3.63 per gallon, the war costing $341.4 million per day and the average American household having $18,654 in debt, there are bigger concerns than fake bull testicles hanging from a trailer hitch.

Is this a free-speech issue? Sure. Balls hanging from your vehicle say a lot about the person behind the wheel. If you want people to think you are a classy sophisticate, hang those balls.