The director of the Vatican Observatory said belief in alien life does not contradict church teachings.

Which made many wonder, “There’s a Vatican Observatory?”

This is the same Vatican that persecuted Galileo 400 years ago for believing the Earth orbited the Sun. Gasp. The church apologized in 1992 for trying Galileo as a heretic in 1633. Their bad.

Rev. Jose Gabriel Funes, director of the observatory, said the Bible is not a science book, and, with the vastness of the universe, there may be even intelligent life out there. That, of course, assumes intelligent life here.

The possibility of alien life does not change the church’s view on creation, which was not by chance but by God. Funes does allow for the Big Bang, which has nothing to do with Paris Hilton. (Aliens, God and Paris Hilton in one paragraph – beat that Hemmingway!)

So, should we be afraid of alien abduction and probes? Naw. The nearest star to us is still 4 light-years away. If we could go a million miles an hour, it would still take 30 lifetimes to get there. All that for a good probing? Not likely.

But it wouldn’t hurt to stock the shed with a Speak-and-Spell and some Reese’s Pieces, if you want to believe.