Tatum O’Neal, looking for an excuse for why she was trying to buy some crack, finally decided it was because her dog died.

At first Tatum told police she was doing research for a film role, but, apparently, the “doing research” excuse has been permanently tainted by Pete Townshend.

Tatum was arrested June 1 trying to buy crack near her home. She claims to still be sober after kicking her heroin addiction.

Her dog died three weeks ago.

You know you’re in trouble when Danny Bonaduce offers advice. In this case, Danny suggested Tatum just blaming upbringing for her poor decision making. This makes a lot of sense. Tatum was drinking at the age of 9 and doing hard drugs by 12. She also married John McEnroe.

Is she still sober? Who knows, but Tatum will probably go to rehab, which is celebrity shorthand for, “See, I’m doing something to make up for my mistake, so please forget about whatever it is I’ve done.”

Tatum does credit the police for saving her from going back to drugs. How nice of them to do that for you.  Actually, Tatum, they arrested you for breaking the law. Celebrities may have a different set of laws, but the police were really not worried about you, per se.

Perhaps rehab will help Tatum with her excuses for bad behavior. “I screwed up” and “I got caught” seem to work here.

Don’t blame the dog.

Rest in peace, Lena.