We love celebrity rednecks: the Spears, the Simpsons, the Cyruses. We love them so much, we have started to adopt their native cuisine, including squirrels and bugs.

This trend started over in England, where the green wackos found wild grey squirrel meat to be “ethical.” Well, not for the squirrel, but for the consumer. Squirrel meat is low in fat and local, which means it is good for you and for the environment. Grocers can’t keep it on the shelves.

Squirrel can’t be all that good. Any food that is “as good as stomping on baby chicks” can’t be healthy. First, squirrels will eat anything: cigarette butts, trash, Jamie Lynn diaphragm. Second, squirrels are vermin – basically cute rats with bushy tails. Finally, when squirrel recipes show up in books like “The White Trash Cookbook,” you know it’s eating vermin that causes Billy Ray to cuddle up close to Miley.

Also good for you and the environment is eating bugs, specifically crickets, caterpillar and grasshoppers. Aw, come on now – Bugs? They might be high in protein and low in fat, but they’re bugs.

This has to be part of the militant vegetarian agenda. They want to make us omnivores look silly by saying we eat tree rats and creepy-crawlies. Next they will say we eat worms and boogers, which are supposed to be good for you, too – builds up the immune system.

Do you know what strange meat is also supposed to be tasty? Zebra. Eating zebra may be bad for zebra kind and leaves a large carbon footprint, but it’s said to be yummy. But, alas, Jessica Simpson probably never had a zebra burger. Squirrel? Count on it.

Here’s a recipe for those who really want to hug Mother Earth and try some squirrel:

1.    Get a squirrel. You may need to use a butter knife to get all the meat out of the tire treads.
2.    Discard the inedible parts, like cute little paws, furry skin and that cute bushy tail.
3.    Soak the squirrel in some vinegar to get rid of the gamey taste and gravel.
4.    Rinse.
5.    Drop the carcass in some butter milk for an hour. That’s two episodes of “The Andy Griffith Show.”
6.    Mix some flour and your favorite seasoning together. Paprika is good. Everyone has paprika. Drag the body through the flour mixture. Maybe add a little salt and pepper, too.
7.    Drop into a skillet. Oh, the skillet should be half full of lard and be at 375 degrees, but everything is cooked this way, isn’t it?
8.    Cook until golden brown, and then pop into a 275 degree oven for an episode of “American Gladiators.”
9.    Drain.
10.    Eat.

This recipe goes good with Pabst Blue Ribbon or Milwaukee’s Best Light.