Anne Hathaway, who stars in “Get Smart,” finally dumped Raffaello Follieri, who could star in “Not So Smart.”

You see, Raffaello has some financial scandals hanging over his head. Apparently, he bounces checks and doesn’t file taxes. Punishment? No Hathaway for you!

Their relationship has always been on and off, but it’s off now. These kinds of problems can ruin a girl’s career, don’t cha know.

Oh, about that bad check – it was for $215,000. Only a very foolish convenience store clerk will cash a check more than a few hundred, Raffaello.

Not filing taxes is just un-American. What? Oh, yeah, he’s Italian. Well, then, it’s just not right – kind of like the having the sixth person in line to the crown of England getting drunk and running around naked. Actually, come to think of it, that’s kind of American! Go Princess Eugene!

Speaking of being “American” and on-and-off-again couples, dumping a beautiful dancer for a Hooters girl is very American – white-trash American, too.  Go Mario Lopez!

Anyway, back to Anne Hathaway – perhaps it’s time to buy domestic, Anne. A Brooklyn girl like you shouldn’t be running around with an Italian with financial baggage. A Brooklyn girl would get an Italian-American with no financial worries, nudge nudge.

Just know that the INS usually use pale green vans. No, wait, that’s the Border Patrol. Just be paranoid, Anne.