So, another four years have gone by. That means it’s time for the 2008 Summer Olympics.

Whee. Let’s try not to get too excited.

The Olympics have not been good for years. The last good Olympics were the 1976 Summer Olympics. It was the last games without a boycott and without professionals.

Here are five excellent reasons to not watch the Olympics:

1. It’s all about money.

Professionals get to participate, completely removing the concept of “the best in amateur athletics” from the games. Non-professionals have sponsors or endorsement deals.

Major corporations vie for the opportunity to be an “Official Olympic Sponsor”: Visa, Coca-Cola, McDonald’s. Coca-Cola paid more than $70 million to be a sponsor. The average sponsorship costs between $40 million and $50 million.

These games should earn more than $1.7 billion in broadcast rights alone.

Athletes hope to translate Olympic gold into real gold with endorsements, publicity and business opportunities. After the 2004 Athens Olympics, swimmer Michael Phelps (who?) signed a deal with Matsunichi (who?) for about $1 million. If he earns eight gold medals this time around, Speedo will give him a $1 million bonus. That’s a lot of Wheaties.

2. Every athlete has a “tragedy.”

NBC has a lot of time to cover between events. They also have to make the games interesting. So they go after any and every possible sob-story out there.

“As he climbs up the podium for the medal ceremony, surely his mind will be on his dog, Fluffy, who died tragically when he was just 4 years old.” Doubt it.

Yes, some athletes have emotional and physical hurdles to go over before becoming Olympic champions, but not every single one of them.

“She trained half her life to be here.” Yep, she’s 16. Half her life is eight years. It takes college freshman that long to get a degree.

“He started training when he was 6.” Getting a basketball from Santa is not the start of training for the Olympics.

One exception this time around: Eric Shanteau. He has put off treatment for testicular cancer to be in these Olympics.

3. There will be problems with doping.

Someone will get caught and lose some medals. There will denials. The blame will be placed on coaches, trainers, spiked water, spiked food, mislabel supplements.

You got caught. Game over. Too bad, cheater.

Want to make a million dollars? Start a company that guarantees food/water/supplements free from illegal performance enhancing drugs. Have athletes sign a contract to only consume your products. Even if a client turns up positive, you can sue them for breaking the contract – assuming you actually sell clean products.

4. Nationalism.

First, U.S.A. is No. 1! U – S – A, U – S – A, U – S – A!

Second, who cares which country has the greatest number of medals or the most golds? The games should be about athletes competing for the glory of sport, not some horserace that makes coverage of the games needlessly artificial.

Third, China is going to get the most golds – home-field advantage.

5. The games are in China.

Enough with the stories about the smog, how bad the games are for the environment, and how China has changed because of the Olympics. We get it. Move on. Tell us something new.

Yeah, we heard about China controlling the weather. That won’t have any repercussions [insert eye roll].

China is a day ahead of the U.S., time-wise. If it is 11 a.m. on Friday in Beijing, it’s 11 a.m. on Thursday in New York City. Really. So, you can find out the winners of any event before NBC gets around to showing the event.

Whee.

BTW, not every U.S. Men’s Basketball Team is a “Dream Team.” The first “Dream Team,” yes, but that’s it. And, swimming isn’t even sexy anymore with the high-tech swimsuits the athletes wear – they look like wetsuits.