Here is my authoritative review of the NBC television show “Heroes.”
It sucks.
No, I haven’t seen it, but that doesn’t mean I can’t review it and know that it sucks.

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Hayden Panettiere is lovin’ it. Heidi Klum is lovin’ it. Even vegetarian Miley Cyrus is lovin’ it.
But let’s face it, McDonald’s is evil.
Proof? Their fruit doesn’t rot.

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If Charles Darwin was correct in his “The Descent of Man, and Selection in Relation to Sex,” we should have a lot more strong, clever and intelligent people walking around. We don’t. We have Paris Hilton.

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Remember when “Attack of the Show” was “The Screen Savers,” and they actually had people on the show who knew what they were talking about?
The show had substance and value. What does it have now? Boobs. More specifically, it has Olivia Munn’s boobs.

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Well, Hurricane Gustav didn’t turn out to be the “storm of the century” after all. Bummer.
Don’t fret, there are three more storms on the way – any of which can soon destroy life as we know it.

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