Well, Hurricane Gustav didn’t turn out to be the “storm of the century” after all. Bummer.

Don’t fret, there are three more storms on the way – any of which can soon destroy life as we know it.
This should make the fine people at the Weather Channel happy.

If some sort of natural disaster is happening, the meteorologists at the Weather Channel get very excited. It’s as if they look forward to carnage and suffering.

Here’s the proof: this is from the Weather Channel’s Web site – “Is New Orleans doomed? Is it just a matter of time before the city is drowned by a storm?”

The Weather Channel – a happy bunch of doomsayers.

If you watch too much of the channel, you begin to believe the world is coming to an end – today! Now! Run for the hills!

Watch Jim Cantore report from the center of a storm – he has a chubby most of the time, but you got to love the swim goggles!

You have to believe how bad it is when Mike Bettes will tell you to run for shelter, but he stands outside in the storm on some street corner waiting for God to strike him.

At least he didn’t try to use Al Roker as an anchor, like Mike Seidel did.

The women at the Weather Channel are just as bad. Stephanie Abrams is not above getting hit with a little flying debris just to get the point across that hurricanes are dangerous. Really? Naw.

Heidi Cullen can tell you how hot it will be – in 2050! Answer? Hot! We will burst into flames just going to check the mail!

She might not be able to tell you if it is going to rain on Thursday, but 2050? Hot.

Really? Who knows.

What you can be sure of is the beautiful people in the newsroom are cold.

It’s the middle of a hot summer, especially in Atlanta, and Heather Tesch is wearing a sweater. Marshall Seese has on a three-piece suit, and you can see his breath.

Nicole Mitchell? Well, she’ll have none of that. Being from North Dakota and Minnesota, hardened by the military, she wears – a sweater, too! Now, her sweater is so tight you can see her appendix scar, but it’s still a sweater.

If the Weather Channel is the MTV of the older generation, we probably have a lot of mature individuals scared to take even a single step outside.

The end is near, and it will be broadcast on the Weather Channel.

Then it will be rebroadcast on “It Could Happen Tomorrow” or “Storm Stories.”

If it wasn’t for the smooth jazz during Local on the 8s, you would have to believe the Weather Channel wants us all to die violently in a storm.

If you see Cantore in front of a Weather Channel van in your neighborhood, just kiss your behind goodbye.